The painter Marcel Duchamp is quoted as saying an artist only does a part of the work, the rest is done by the one viewing the art.” Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett points out this is often called “the beholder’s share.”
Whenever we are trying to communicate through our art; as we engage in a conversation with a colleague, friend, or family member; or as we write an email or text, it’s good to remember there is always a “beholder’s share.” We contribute only a part of the “work,” the rest is done by the other person.
This means whenever we feel we are misunderstood, or someone does not experience or hear exactly what we are trying to communicate, we shouldn’t take it personally, but recognize it’s just the beholder’s share making itself known.
And once we recognize that’s what’s happening, we can choose to say something like, “let me express what I was trying to communicate in another way.” Because the beholder’s share isn’t an obstacle, but an opportunity.
——
If you have been forwarded this email and like to join a community of people pondering how to feel better you can subscribe and receive a daily email here. If you would like to get in touch please email us at info@on-emotions.com.
On Emotions 